Updated: Jun 2
originally posted February 2018
Playa Tamarindo, Costa Rica
As trite as this may sound, when I say we were spiritually called to come to Costa Rica, I truly mean it. Neither my husband or myself have ever lived outside of the United States, we don't have family here. He has a better Spanish acumen than me for sure, but this is definitely not our native tongue. However, somehow in my heart I knew that our family needed a place to be bodacious, black, free, and together.
Lately, I have been noticing the way men regard their women here, not women in general, but their women. There is a pride in their possession of them, they claim them, affectionately. Big backed women, wide hipped women, young women, older women, large women, petite women, their mothers but especially their wives or girlfriends. Holding hands, kissing, carting them along on the backs of motor-scooters or on tops of handlebars, walking beside or behind, you don't have to query long who is with whom, they will gladly introduce you "a la esposa mia". Granted we do not live in their homes or lives so our bird's eye view is limited, but publicly I have seen nothing but love and respect for their women. Such is a contrast to the NY city love where some are so afraid to admit that they have found someone they love or even for fear of what that kind of admission would do to their image. Or the microwave IG/social media love where couples are jumping in and out of relationships haphazardly. Here having a spouse, partner, or family seems to mean something.
“We have been transported to a land where the weather is at coldest still warm and you jump in the water when you feel overwhelmed by past troubles or current, if you have any.”
As we cowrite the vision for our marriage and family, I feel we have started in the perfect place to support our commitment. There is something very domesticating about this lifestyle. As much as we love our outdoor activities we also love making our meals and doing things or nothing at home. We have created a new life where time goes slowly, every day becomes its own adventure, where we take midday naps and drink water and eat vegetables, recharge with the sun and beach water, drink cocktails and home school. We have been transported to a land where the weather is at coldest still warm and you jump in the water when you feel overwhelmed by past troubles or current, if you have any. Right now our stress is what are we making for dinner and what's on tomorrow's agenda. It is not a "turnt up" lifestyle by far, trouble is something you have to search for, and you would rather be indoors when it gets too dark because not much else is happening anyway.
Maybe in other parts of the country where tourism and integration is more dominant, nesting and coupling would be less emphasized but here in Liberia people stick with their tribes. It is badge of honor to have a family. They don't seem burdened by their children. Babies swing loosely on their mothers' hips all day. When school is out kids come to work; students and employees go home for lunch breaks. Date night is a family affair; Fridays all the men in the house get haircuts. Dads are present and participants. Life is insular and outsiders are just that. What got us here? A shared desire to focus our energies and time on our new set of priorities and to give these parts of ourselves love and undivided attention.
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