#Don't Rush Challenge: A Word on Marriages

Updated: Apr 19

Old Town Road, Florida

God was very deliberate and explicit about His divine design for marriage. You see, unlike any other configuration of companionship, marriage is the only pairing in which everything you do or don’t do directly impacts the other person. This is evidenced from the origin of the institution, from the very first Biblical marriage, Adam and Eve, two independent yet interconnected bodies whose autonomous decision making had long withstanding and multi-generational impact. Marriage is a mirror in which you project and reflect the best and worst parts of self. When you are married to someone you cannot run or hide, all of you is upfront, in bold font, and in plain sight. When two individuals marry, they not only exchange vows and last names, they marry each others' prior, present, and future successes and failures, families, backgrounds, cultures, past lives, finances, and credit scores, among other things. It is sometimes harrowing, difficult at best, to self reflect that intimately. The truth is that most of us don’t even like ourselves enough to marry ourselves; it is no surprise that the divorce rates are skyrocketing. Many of us get into marriages under the false promise and pretense that if we just find the right person with the right credentials at the right time, then everything will be just perfect. Some of us jump in headfirst hoping that this new partnership will erase all of our old scares, scars, and wounds; marriage becomes some sort of validation of our healing and our worth. What most of us don’t know going in is that the past (unhealed traumas, undetached soul ties, unchecked baggage) is always lurking in the shadows. This secret enemy forms cracks, crevices, and chasms of shame, dishonesty, deceit, withdrawal, discontentment and fear, slowly but surely, wearing away at the foundation and forcing marriages right into the path of self destruction.

The good news is that those of us willing enough to stand for marriage can reap the rewards of one of the most valuable and life altering commitments we will ever make. Marriage requires us to leave (our parents, our narratives, our egos, our selfishness, our self righteousness) behind, surrender to, and cleave to our partners. It is not a linear, flat, comfortable or simplified process. The marital union is a journey that over time strips the old and reshapes us into a new self that is unbeknownst and unfamiliar. The character tests and spiritual trials and tribulations aid in exfoliating the dead and resurfacing/ forming the new skin of who we are becoming. Our destiny is intricately attached to our partnership. Marriage is an unique opportunity to exemplify an unwavering, unshakeable, irrevocable love; it is a challenge to demonstrate self discipline, kindness, compassion, servitude, forgiveness, friendship, integrity, loyalty, faith, perseverance, support, and patience. When we invest in and fight for our marriages, we are dismantling generational storylines of broken homes and families, we are rebirthing nations rooted in the conditions of love, grace, wisdom and mercy, we are testifying through our words and actions what strength in numbers does.

" Marriage is a mirror in which you project and reflect the best and worst parts of self. When you are married to someone you cannot run or hide; all of you is upfront, bold font, and in plain sight."


The entire world is currently suffering as CoVid19 (aka the CoronaVirus) rips through our lifestyles, families, neighborhoods and communities. Quarantining has provided an allotment of time together to reset our priorities and revisit the terms of our marital agreements. Let’s stand brazen in the face of our fears and come to the table with fresh ideas, have deeper, more honest conversations, express our triggers, concerns, and desires, listen more intently, refresh our intimacy, and relearn each other. Let’s stop falling prey to idealism, cheap distractions, and disillusionment. Let’s distance ourselves from social media programming, turn off the mindless chatter, and turn towards each other.

This too shall pass, we got this, BlackandWanderlust! Prayers of covering and light to all the lovers of love, family, adventure, and travel.

#dontrush #marriageministry #testsoftime #threestrandcord #endurance #praytogether #staytogether #mirrorwork #warroom #quarantine #socialdistancing #blacklovematters #blackmarriagematters #blackfamiliesmatter #ZuluBrownz #ChefGiGi #BlackandWanderlust

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I'm a true wanderer at heart. I am a poet, a writer, an artist, an educator, a mom, a wife, and an entrepreneur. 


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